Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
About Deviant Not Really HereFemale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 15 Years
Needs Core Membership
Statistics 103 Deviations 1,160 Comments 10,307 Pageviews

Newest Deviations

The Tale of Etan the Bard
During the time of King Donnchadh, son of Domhnall who was the son of Murchadh, there was a bard in Kathlin in Northern Ireland.  Her name was Étan and she was the daughter of Buan mac Báin, who was a wise and educated man, and also said to be descended from Amergín himself.  Although it was no longer common for women and men to do the same jobs, she was proud and high-minded, and would pay no attention to the words of her neighbors. She was a strong woman in both body and mind, if not very tall and somewhat quick to anger.  Her pride and the quickness of her sharp tongue kept her unmarried, but also kept her from regretting this.  Nevertheless, it was the unusual situation that no one else in the region had any talent with words, so they tolerated her ways even as they called her wild-woman, for they knew the importance of having a bard.  
At this time, the chieftain of the district, Chulain ua Duibne, grandson of the mighty Donn Cuail
:icontax-chan:tax-chan 0 0
Triangular Desire
If we ignore the fact that I have never, ever answered to Scotty,
The names even sound similar.
If only my best theoretical paradigm, my flawless Marxist criticism,
My profession of words would stop getting in my way.
Commodity and commodifier at the same time, that would be
Me.  Good 60s girl, right color hair and eyes
And a sense of class; I am also the good but damaged detective,
A scotch and nostalgia my bulletproof vest.
Dressing up my Judy boy, triangular desire a perfect metaphor.
Arcane, but perfect for me, the inarticulate writer,
The immobile hypsophobic cop.
I know I love the signifier rather than the signified.
I also know you, Judy boy, signify nothing to me,
So I have to make you my signifier in order for both of us to be happy.
Or something that signifies happiness.
Make the cruder commodity into something other people would want.
Into something I would want.
And I was dizzy when he kissed me and my metaphor
For love has always been getting pushed off a buildin
:icontax-chan:tax-chan 0 1
You, Mysterious, Mercurial
I am haunted by the ghost of your smile;
Things remembered gone down to the grave.
For words unsaid, I stand on trial.
"Time heals," they say, so I bide a while.
Platitudes a battered wit might crave
I am haunted by the ghost of your smile.
Tossing hollow regrets into a pile,
The absence of sun tempting me to rave.
For words unsaid I stand on trial.
Of grief, I remain in staunch denial
Relying on a tightened grin to save
I am haunted by the ghost of your smile.
Whenever reverie I revile,
Without a steady hand, no longer brave
For words unsaid, I stand on trial.
And you, mysterious, mercurial,
Work with ghost-words the magic I must have.
I am haunted by the ghost of your smile;
For words unsaid, I stand on trial.
:icontax-chan:tax-chan 0 1
Light Enough to Move
Slow minuet, a Victorian
Garden party dance affair
Conducted at
A kiss a day,
A wink every two weeks,
A slow giddy wheel every month,
Then an elegant split and
Into new sparkling pairs,
Rotating and dotting the
Parquet in new
The Heathcliff not Orion,
The Bennetts not the Seven Sisters (only three),
The Bronte not Cygnus.
Sparkling smiles, decorum, structure, formality,
And in the middle, the North Star alone,
Or perhaps one of the stars that
Goes down burning through the atmosphere at the
Rightest and most wrong posible
Rock or
Ephemeron, I stand in the sky,
Breathing smoke into lace,
Holding your slipper bag,
:icontax-chan:tax-chan 0 1
suspici sidus
Some days I
Wonder if this will ever come straight
If the tangled yarn I
Call my head these days
Will ever unravel.  The answers
I give myself depend on
The time
The mood
The song in my head;
This is
Most days
I wear three years' experience on my skin,
Tattooed tire tracks race down my arms
Cranes and berries blanket my shoulders
Sheet music indelible on my lips
Pens for unwilling words on my hands.
I want everyone to see it too,
Because it's beautiful
And we made it together.
:icontax-chan:tax-chan 0 1
little sister's soliloquy
What's in it for me? always your first question,
Cannily concealed beneath outrageous shocks
That could still like grenades or wound like kisses.
How could I oppose, refuse a quick-tongued thief
Of cars and bodies?  To say no would be lost,
Swallowed by layers of quilts and strange dreams,
The same blankets that absorbed all the salt I
Would ever bleed from all unnatural shocks
Of salad days, appropriately colored
Green.  Green like candy bears, green like the pills.
I dreamed in green and woke in blue, cat
On my feet, no longer separating
Mad dreams whispered in my ear, duels unfought
For me, no man at my feet, save one dark
Feline.  Duels unfought- as I
Always suspected- for a calamitous
Absence of grace, charm, beauty.  Four years
Ticking on a clock with no hands, seconds
I will always have on glossy paper.
Chemical stops on despised love, spurned
Attempts at family.  Pressed time and pressed leaves
Collected when September ended, th
:icontax-chan:tax-chan 0 0
For every Africa I will never recall, every
Lion and mastodon held fixed by a wish
Instead of a spear point.  For all the
Loam and dragonflies that have come down to me degraded.
It's no use,
My fingers will always remember
The hardness of plastic keys before
The feel of pebbles.
All the devolution in the world- the
Imaginary pain of exchanging gills for lungs- will not
Make time run backwards.
At night, I will always see
Blinking jet lights, hear
Cars whispering past on the highway, and not one
Bone drum to still it.
:icontax-chan:tax-chan 0 4
the first half-hour after midnight,
lit by a moon or a monitor, showing the
shrunken-head voodoo priestess
(with apologies to grande brigitte and samedi, le baron cimitiere, the
legitimate graveyard denizens),
collecting platitiudes and drawing
figures in makeup like chalk; laying out
all manner of silver-plated platitudes and thin dimes
in front of a many-armed hoodoo figure that-
in the right light, or lack thereof,
of course-
might pass for an oracle, if you ignore that
that's not spanish moss, but a
skein of fishnet.
what would ogun have to say to you?
chances are those pretty stylized artistic skulls
would start chattering their mossy teeth like cowrieshell rattles.
:icontax-chan:tax-chan 0 0
55 in a 78
so they say you love me now,
in your own
fumbling kind of way.
but i'm afraid of,
years from now, when you've forgotten their names,
waking up next to you
with that bike of yours turned into an acura sedan in the driveway,
and your face,
once defined by ivory-soap angles and steel rings,
now defined by weekends spent wallpapering.
and maybe the odd
suit-related food thing, here and there (of course costing
more than the clothes we used to wear)
and your hands that are now white and thin
have become the new face of company loyalty, unlike my grandfather's,
hale and hearty and altogether himself,
very much 20 at 82.
i won't say a word about myself, because right now
that looks worse than deth to me, superseded only by
the thought of you, one morning, hearing the neighbor boy play guitar
and leaning over the fence to say
hey i used to do that too, when i was about your age,
and then oh god no the air guitar and that poor kid
will look at you politely disbelieving like you look at c
:icontax-chan:tax-chan 1 5
electronic diesel
ideally- and this is to say
that this is never going to happen-
i'd have a nicer machine,
and i'd paint it pretty with
fleshplants (isn't that
a nice word there?)
so you could watch them, largely unaware that
they have been known to feed on
star-crossed clerks and english majors.
they're carnivorous largely by accident,
which is what's going to happen
if i don't learn to stop watching smoke in mirrors
and keep my eye (also
carnivorous, and guiltily so)
on the tire-treads i need to be following.
you know,
ideally, you would not
think that's kind of charming.
:icontax-chan:tax-chan 0 4
broken phone booth
to the best undefinable i could ever have:
because you deserve it, i would like to write you something
that would make you cry.
not that i want you to be sad, or anybody else, but because
trite or not you are just that beautiful.
that and i have certainly cried enough
cranberry tears
over you, because you are unfortunately a shadow and
shadows are often just like what's casting them
but worse (and better) because they're un-haveable.
even if you're me,
aphrodite's shady cousin,
standing on cinderblocks and wrapped in tissue-thin paper
covered in mary rowlandson's indians.
also even if you're me,
and know that shadows
have eyes like velvet, and gravity, so that
after they've pulled you in, they cushion the landing
and make you- damn.  it.- love them for that nice, soft landing.
thirdly, even if you're me and wondering
at how
incredibly appropriate it is
that you've got a bright sunny candy shell now.
oh, hell, i don't have the heart to
make you cry
(or love you properly
:icontax-chan:tax-chan 0 3
you were everything high school should have been,
damn it,
drinking rum + cokes by the creek,
chiffon dresses and smashed-up cars
driving onto the sidewalk left parked on a curb.
so maybe
you weren\'t \"the one,\" but
you saw the last day i smoked
and the first time i drank to forget.
skipping stones
and telling me about the need to play with something
when talking about anything important.
-i remembered that
when you spun your spoon on the tabletop
to avoid looking up, to keep brian\'s story going-
i could have been happy there
even if it were just a stop
in a parking lot
on the way to wherever it is i\'m going.
:icontax-chan:tax-chan 0 7
rant01- thankless
Responsibility is far overrated. Because it doesn\'t really come with privelige, or at least not privelige that you can\'t enjoy because the responsibility is taking up all your time, or making it seem like a pathetic reward. Sure, I\'d love to enjoy it, but all I ever do is work to maintain it. It just eats time; no reward. And responsibility is never easily taken on, or equally distributed. Some kids raise themselves, and others never have to grow up. And it\'s not very fun. Running around doing other people\'s errands, you know you hate it but you keep doing it and you don\'t know why. And of course you resent it, and come to resent and despise both the people who fobbed it off on you and the (sort of innocent bystanders) people you\'re doing it for. And you get bitter. If you say anything about it, the response is invariably a huffy \"Well, you didn\'t have to,\" or \"No one asked you to,\" or, \"It\'s not your job.\" But you did, and they did, and it is, even if
:icontax-chan:tax-chan 0 0
nondisclosure agreement
you, you are the only ones who
in your spit-shined shoes,
could walk through a jungle- real or
concrete, i'm not picky-
impervious to sharp teeth and well-fed
you in your suit of armor, keeping you in a
professional sphere, being
a law unto yourselves.
you dream of memoranda, and on your walls in dull gold frames you have
expensive papers with latinate lettering; way to go, boys, a
million-dollar job....
maybe you can buy yourselves some
new eyes.
in real life, red pen on bond paper
does not correct what you don't like, and
waiting for a settlement
might shortchange you
because the rules are different here
(you don't make them).
but for now remain blissfully- or bitterly, see if
i care-
:icontax-chan:tax-chan 0 4
color theory
When I was a child
Words had colors
I. Gold
II. Green
III. Blue
IV. Purple
And when I met you, I was wearing
A velvet dress
The color of violets.
:icontax-chan:tax-chan 0 6
At what point
On the
Graph of your affection for her
Did I become
The single diamondbright point
That brought you
Back from zero
And the girl (who reminds me of
My friend with the butterfly knives, my friend
Who I once
Turned to stone)
Down to it
:icontax-chan:tax-chan 0 3

Random Favourites

. excelsior . by karincoma . excelsior . :iconkarincoma:karincoma 1,965 436 What Lies Yonder by thegoatfetus What Lies Yonder :iconthegoatfetus:thegoatfetus 2 2
Good Morning
I woke up again today
             hungry for you.
                         Far away
:iconpachunka:Pachunka 6 17
Maneki Neko by sponch Maneki Neko :iconsponch:sponch 9 6 Tokyo Grunge by peace Tokyo Grunge :iconpeace:peace 1 3
The Real Divine Comedy
a serpent
crossed my road today.
  and he hissed the sweetest psalm
of lovers in the hay;
of halos in the way;
      of hearts spent
with irregular beats,
and of the masterful feats
that i were to accomplish...
                  if i could only find my feet!
mistakes have been made
fences built upon my thoughts.
your juiceless viscera
          was once desired --
          i now desire only wine...
and i say to thee:
   thy love was a mistake,
   so let us pass by.
:icondoomed:doomed 1 5
lulled away
a moth, underneath a lamp post,
flutters its wings so fast that the silk flakes off and mingles in
with the dusty speech of millions of apparitions.
all singing their death songs.
the ash they speak collects
forms chains of hopes and dreams
tattered torn and ultimately broken
falling back to the ground,
swept into constantly consuming gutters
lined with razorblades chomp chomp chomping.
nagasaki is lulled away to pieces
and swept up with a broom,
as desolation weaves throughout the air
somber strands of seperation
interdiction love is interdiction fire
"i just want to fuck you
and discard you"
vapor trails and smooth sails,
our thread keeps us wed,
sewn together: our skin, our sin.

corroded throat-pistons banging
and idling away on the acts of tomorrow
heart running rampant on fuel-injected happiness
i tell you...
i'm on a rampage and i will never stop.
we sputter words like "love"
and purr at the thought
that we are the only ones we'll ever need.

at first we writhe in pa
:icondoomed:doomed 1 3
motorways/tramlines/runways and razorlines
'grotesque blue-eyed beings' shuttling and whining
with you my life starts and ends in one grand design
esoteric language leaves me wondering:
in the halls of zion will i be a single ion?
or two?
no alarms and no surprises creates my pathos
i'm a pugilist and losing
mending building and breaking reconstructing
thread me and take me keep me
inside this swirling mass of glass
i have amassed a single dwelling place for your face.
i am vicious and meek, horribly weak
one day i woke like a dead machine
sputtered to life a corroded gleam
my epidermis plated steel; a molded seam
defunct dispenser of tears
searching for someone to end the flow
of blood falling into my coffee and never feeling a thing
You, a delectable queen (princess now)
i am yours until we burn like polystyrene
i am committed to you until time destroys itself
god is spinning YOUandME like a thread on a giant wheel
he's "all fire and smoke and nothing underneath"
:icondoomed:doomed 1 5
Like rubbing
my forehead
against the
adhesive side
of industrial
worms clogging
like maggots
spawning on carrion,
in places vultures
have long
warehouse of my
mind, echoes of
silence reverberating
in such underlying
decibels off cracks
of a skull, neophyte
fissures fornicating
against the
redecorating of
a personality matrix
formed as a by-product of
five billion years
worth of
things, and stuff,
and trinkets lining
my eyelids,
with a key
to my mind swept
under a neighbors
welcome mat;
forged with the cold irony that I'm never
home of the brave
who cower behind death,
a mortal fear of
time constantly
constricting possibilities
with every extended
blink of an eye, eight
hours gone in an instant,
another day shortcutting
the distance, and me
regretfully reminiscent
of the subtle ways I
spent my
of our lives, what have
we made of them through
blitzkrieg relationships,
:iconmarvulusmordus:marvulusmordus 2 3
You disgust me by exegesis You disgust me :iconexegesis:exegesis 2 1
My Sirens
Marvin Alexis
As a child my siren lullabied
in spectral shades of blue and red.
Periodic pulses
"Whoop, Whoop!"
-wake up-
Some[No]body's dead.
These pump-action prophets,
pompous poverty at its prime, dodgin' street sweepers
and spray-paintin' street scriptures
on brick'ed burgundy bastions
have managed to compress the rate of time
with subliminal gunshot
wounds to minute-made mental manuscripts.
-Really, what sense does it make to salt
your own fields?-
Fetuses condemned in the womb in a
plume of gun smoke;
ethereal herbal toke;
ecstasy induced game of let's prod 'n' poke
expediting this expedition in your over-expectant
unwanted newborn sentenced to life
for the sins of its ancestry?
nitty gritty [insidious urban politics]
grit your teeth
(puff powdered enamel as you demand an)
itty bitty
bit of peace.
Behind all these Benjy-knot smiles,
baseball cap shaded lookout eyes
before turning to public phones to dial
inside "2 train" stations with one-way turnstiles
:iconmarvulusmordus:marvulusmordus 1 23
will you marry me by redbird will you marry me :iconredbird:redbird 1 15


DAMBUSTERS by ekud DAMBUSTERS :iconekud:ekud 108 67 MOCHA by ekud MOCHA :iconekud:ekud 35 52



Not Really Here
United States
Current Residence: 805
Favourite genre of music: most
Favourite photographer: shootingstar
Operating System: windows 7
MP3 player of choice: iTunes (baww)
Shell of choice: crunchy oo;
Wallpaper of choice: domo-kun by diane
Favourite cartoon character: ren & stimpy, spider jerusalem
Personal Quote: oh, the sharks and the jets are having a kilt fight.
Holy crap, I am never on here anymore.  I suppose that's what happens when all your words and energy are used writing term papers on subjects no one actually cares about, but that's almost over.  I'd like to be able to upload new things, but that doesn't seem likely as my focus shifts.  That's okay, though, I can use this to see pretty pictures and pretty words, assuming I remember to sign in and, y'know, check things.


Add a Comment:
artjoe Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2007
:D Sorry about the big delay, but thank you for checking out my wood works! I totally agree about the children's book influence..I have a book with similar style floating around somewhere..
birthdays Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2007
:w00t: :dance: :cake: !!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!! :cake: :dance: :w00t:

It's 2nd January which means it's your special day. Hoping you have a fantastic birthday, get some nice gifts and generally get to enjoy it lots.

All the best and much love from the birthdays team to you :hug:

You are receiving this message because you or a friend has added you to our database. If you wish to be removed please contact us.

Birthdays Team
This birthday greeting was brought to you by : `zetab
doomed Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2006
thanks for the message, I know what you mean :D
cya 'round
lycanthropissed Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2006
Gwarrrr Erin o_O.. how is life woman? Haven't seen you in way over a year XD o_o not since that Toga party I do believe >3 Fuuuu you should IM me someday woman if you ever get this.
preacha Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2006
this place kinda just died in the arse didn't it?
nny777slavelabor Featured By Owner May 23, 2006
love your dead bear icon :D
shootingstar Featured By Owner May 13, 2006
it five things not two :d
Add a Comment: